Mike Bridenstine's Tumblr Thing

1.  Is AIDS funding eating up funding at the expense of more pressing health needs?

2.  I’m deciding how funny I think it is that Plaxico Burress shot himself in the leg.

3.  India is accusing Pakistan of having a hand in the Mumbai massacre.  That could derail the peace talks between the two countries.  And if that happens it could throw a big wrench into the whole war on terror. 

4.  I read an interview with a guy about why churches fear abortion and gay rights.  It boils down to the church being threatened by the breakdown of traditional families and the role of women in society and the church.  Women want a bigger role in the church.  Women are living without men and churches are losing their grip on power.  Gays are the scapegoat.  Abortion also represents a rejection of the traditional role of mothers.  In that regard, the gay movement is closer to female rights than to Civil Rights because it’s an alternative to a traditional male-structured society.  The true threat to families is male irresponsibility and mistreatment of women.  Gay marriage isn’t a threat to families, because issues about and protection of family are the reason gays want marriage in the first place.  The dude thinks the monotheistic “desert religions” need to be feminized.   

5.  The Mussina argument.  Is the Hall of Fame getting too big?  It’s meant to honor the great, not the very good.  Is Don Sutton good enough to be in?  What about Bert Blyleven?  Sutton won 300+ games because he played forever.  Blyleven only won 287 and pitched for lousy teams.  Mike Mussina played for good teams, but was in a five-man rotation, losing 7-8 starts a year vs. what guys like Sutton and Blyleven did.  Mussina’s winning percentage is better than a lot of guys with 300 wins.  King Kaufman wants to lower the magic number to 250.

That would put in Bobby Mathews (297), Tommy John (288), Blyleven (287), Tony Mullane (284), Jim Kaat (283), Jim McCormick (265), Gus Weyhing (264) and Jack Morris (254).

6.  I need to take a look at Ron Santo.  I’ve been a proponent of him getting in to the Hall of Fame because I like him.  I don’t even really know if he deserves it.

7.  This heckler video is pretty entertaining.

8.  This is a real book.  I know because I’ve had lots of practice.

9.  Shia Muslims are like Roman Catholics with Imans.  Sunni Muslims are like Protestants.  90% of Muslims are Sunni.  The rift started right after Muhammad’s death as people jockeyed for power.  Shia believed Muhammad’s second cousin Ali should have taken over.  The Sunni believed the leader should have been chosen by the followers.      

Iraw is mostly Shia, but were oppressed under Saddam.  Iran is Shia.  Palestine is Sunni.

10.  The Watchmen release is still a mess.  If you’ve owned the rights for 20 years and haven’t made a movie, fuck off.

Tonight (Sunday) at the Hollywood Improv.  9pm.  The Chicago Show.

Featuring Nate Craig, Tony Sam, Hannah Gansen, Mike Burns, Mike Bridenstine, Renee Gauthier, Jeff Klinger, The Walsh Brothers and Jimmy Dore. 

1.  Rupert Murdoch hates Bill O’Reilly?

2.  This is the woman who had sex at the Iowa game with Not-Her-Husband.

3.  Obama is the Jonas Brothers.  This video of him on the South Side is hilarious…

4.  It’s almost as awesome as this kid spazzing out at a puppet show.

5.  Rosie O’Donnell had some variety show I missed that got terrible ratings and reviews.  The Osbournes’ variety show debuts next month.  John Mayer might host one for CBS.  What’s happening?  

6.  Dr. Dre’s album got pushed back so he could help out Eminem’s album.  Apparently Eminem is on fire.

7.  HIV could be eliminated in the next 10 years.

8.  Michael Cera and Charlyne Yi are in some documentary. 

9.  The Prop 8 protests changed 8% of polled voters’ minds.  Or the results would have changed, which is kinda impressive.

10.  Adding the Sarah Palin turkey slaughter guy to photos made me LOL.

11.  Here’s a fun list of some failed Republican policies and problems-caused over the past 10 years…

• Foreign-policy debacles in Iraq and Afghanistan.
• A government that invades nations under false pretenses.
• A nation less secure and at greater risk of terrorist attacks than ever.
• A sinking economy.
• An expanding gap between rich and poor.
• Utter inaction on global warming.
• $5-a-gallon gasoline.
• An unresolved immigration problem.
• An incapacity to deal with natural disasters like Hurricane Katrina.
• A debacle in public-school education testing and funding.
• Declining food and consumer-product safety standards.
• A government that spies on its own citizens.
• A government that tortures prisoners held in their detention facilities.

• The absurd impeachment of Bill Clinton in spite of the public’s broad disapproval.
• The caricaturization of a future Nobel Peace Prize winner, Al Gore, in the course of foisting a Bush presidency upon an unsuspecting public.
• The relentless campaign to portray anyone dissenting from Bush’s post-9/11 war plans as insufficiently patriotic and “soft on terrorism.”
• The tireless recourse to a string of “Friedman units” in excusing the interminable extension of the Iraq war.
• The swift-boating of John Kerry.
• The Terri Schiavo fiasco.
• The Graham Frost fiasco.
• The ritual and ongoing demonization of Latinos as criminals, welfare bums, America-hating, job-stealing foreigners.
• The crude dog-whistle campaign run against Obama, depicting him as a terrorist-loving, America-hating, secret Muslim brown man.
• The deeply disturbing way that conservatives acted on this rhetoric: spewing hate, racism, and threatening violence.

12.  The Senate gave a standing ovation to Ted Stevens.  7 felonies, dude.

13.  Joe Biden was cleared of those 1987 plagiarism charges, that my roommate keeps talking about.

14.  Some survey claims that more people believe in aliens and ghosts than God.

15.  Everyone is claiming they’re not interested in Jake Peavy.

16.  Manny Ramirez is obsessed with getting 600 home runs.  Right now he has 527.  Might be a cool rivalry with A-Rod and his 553 homers.

17.  Stephen King reviewed his favorite albums of 2008 for EW.  He liked Girl Talk Feed the Animals.  His favorite?  A tie between Black Butterfly by Buckcherry and Break Up the Concrete by the Pretenders.  And his favorite song of the year was the Pretenders’ “Love’s a Mystery”.  Sounds pretty lame.

18.  Chris Matthews is starting to hire people for his 2010 Pennsylvania Senate run against Arlen Spector. 

19.  Nate Silver had a great article about conservative talk radio killing the GOP.  A lot of conservatives literally cannot believe that anybody would see the world differently than they do.  So they have forgotten how to persuade.  They know how to stimulate, but not persuade. 

20.  The Hillary secretary of state thing is happening Monday?

21.  This is the 25th anniversary of A Christmas Story.

22.  Will Latinos and a Bush vacancy turn Texas into a blue state?

23.  There is a Islamic fatwa or something against yoga.

24.  Mark Sanford got asked on FOX News if Sarah Palin was the future of the GOP.  And he laughed.

25.  O’Reilly’s “War on Christmas” thing is heating up again.  He’s claiming people are trying to get the word Christmas banned.  He thinks Christmas is patriotic. Christmas wasn’t celebrated by the Puritans in colonial New England.  It wasn’t a national holiday until 1870 and most of “Christmas” was imported from Victorian England.  The Christmas tree is Germanic folklore.  Maybe the Nate Silver thing is correct.

Here’s what super-cool Rolling Stone said about Funny or Die.

We adored Pearl and The Landlord, but lately, Will Ferrell’s Website feels like a video version of The Huffington Post: entitled Hollywood players with way too much time on their hands.  Ron Howard reprising Richie?  Looked like MADtv. 

Ouch.  Snarky.  Then they tagged Michael Cera and Auto-Tune… and still put Britney Spears on the Hot Issue cover.

This one was recommended to me after I was disappointed in Kanye’s last album.  But for someone like me who secretly waits for the next Eminem album to come out, who loves Jay-Z and big personalities like Luda… I don’t know if I’m ready for Grown-Up hip-hop.

What do I mean by that?  Most of the album is like easy-listening music.  It’s safe, it’s friendly, it’s soothing.  But that can sometimes be confused for a snoozefest.  Grown-ups like jazz funk, neo-soul, mellow groove shit… featuring D’Angelo.  They like to put it on as background music.  And even here, the music often overshadows the rapping.

I thought I liked Q-Tip.  I like older Tribe.  I like “Vivrant Thing” and “Breathe and Stop”.  And he is my favorite part of one of my favorite Beastie Boys songs ever.  A lot’s been made of the fact that Q-Tip hasn’t had an album out in 9 years.  But this honestly feels like a similar album to 1998’s The Love Movement, A Tribe Called Quest’s snoozefest album that came out when I was a freshman in college.  I pretended to like that one too.  Except The Renaissance is better.

I’m giving half of the tracks a second try… 

“Johnny is Dead” is just okay.  It sounds like it’d be on in the background at a trendy clothing store. “Won’t Trade” is a little more fun.  I just wish it was more aggro. It’s got a sample I like of “You Made a Believer Out of Me” by Ruby Andrews.  I also like Raphael Saadiq’s hook on “We Fight/We Love”.  I also wish “Manwomanboogie” was a little nastier.  And I actually want to learn the lyrics of “Life is Better”, although the song is a yawn.  ”Move” is probably the best song.  And the video for pretty great.  

There are a few keepers.  That’s kinda what CDs are usually like anyway.  The good songs are good.  The overall album is a meh.

1.  MTV is doing stuff for Obama’s inaugural ball.  I just realized January 20th is the Blerds roast.  

2.  Two Iowa fans were caught having sex in a bathroom at the Metrodome.

3.  The Speidi wedding might be fake.  Why am I even writing this?  Because I posted that they got married in the first place.

4.  Gay adoption might be a big issue again soon.

5.  Sarah Palin is still highly searched for on the Internet.  Here are AOL’s 2008 year-end hottest searches…

TV & Movies: American Idol, Dancing With the Stars, Hannah Montana, The View, Lost.
Celebs: Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Oprah Winfrey.
Shopping: iPone, Wii, iPod, Garmin Nuvi, Bratz.
Musicians: Jonas Brothers, David Cook, Chris Brown, Mariah Carey, Lil Wayne.
Sports: NASCAR, WWE, Olympics, MLB, NFL.
Baseball beat everything else except the Olympics, NASCAR and wrestling?  AOL mentions instant replay, the Phillies, the Rays and Yankee Stadium.
News: Presidential election, Olympics, Bailout, Hurricane Ike, Unemployment.

Viral Videos: Yes We Can by will.i.am, Paris Hilton on FOD, Fred Goes Swimming, Kobe Jumps Over Car, Valentina Hasan Sings ‘Ken Lee’.

6.  Some Russian guy predicted the U.S. will break up into 6 parts - the Pacific coast, the South, Texas, the Atlantic coast, the central states and the northern states.

7.  Aubrey O’Day is going to be in Playboy.

8.  I went to breakfast this morning with my parents in Santa Monica before they left and I saw a bunch of sneaker heads lined up outside of Undefeated.  It was kind of sad.

9.  Hall of Famers will be announced on December 8th.  Ron Santo?  

Kanye West has probably been my favorite rapper/performer since College Dropout, which still holds up and is still one of my favorite albums ever.  And I’ve liked every album since, although each one slightly less than the pervious one.  So logically, I should only assume that this would be my least favorite Kanye album to date.  And sadly, it is.

You’ve probably heard at least one or two songs off the album already.  And, yes, the entire thing is singing, sparse on rap and entirely in Auto-Tune.  Apparently Kanye was working on a remix of Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop” and “Put On” by Young Jeezy and he fell in love with the thing.  It’s supposed to represent the effect of being heartbroken.  Whatever.  Much like Kanye’s “living art installation” listening party with 40 nude women - and “art installations” in general -  it’s probably just a lot of bullshit.  T-Pain had three number one hits (“Buy U a Drank”, “Kiss Kiss” with Chris Brown and “Low” with Flo Rida) using an Auto-Tune.  ”Lollipop” went to number one as well.  I think Kanye wanted in on the profits.

The biggest difference between those songs and 808s & Heartbreak (besides the quality of singing) is that T-Pain makes party songs.  What Kanye ends up with is something closer to a hip-hop version of ’80s New Wave music or rap emo.  In the process, he might have actually invented a new genre, which is impressive on its own merits.  I just don’t necessarily want to listen to it at a party or in the car.

The bottom line is that this album isn’t what I wanted from Kanye.  He was going to come out with A Good Ass Job, which is the logical next sequence after three college-themed albums.  Instead, his mom passed away and he split up with his fiance.  I don’t know if people will compare it to the different periods that Bob Dylan or whoever else went through, I just personally can’t wait until Kanye cheers up.  This one isn’t a celebration, bitches.  This is moody spaceship music for sad people in the “chill” room at a rave.

The songs aren’t bad.  And there are a few good ones.  I was one of the people who loved “Love Lockdown” and “Heartless”.  I think both of those can go on his Greatest Hits album, whenever that happens.  The critics have also liked “Amazing”, which will probably also get radio play if it hasn’t already.  The problem is there is not much variation and the songs start to get tedious mid way through.

The weirdest point in the album is the last track, which is some live “freestyle” in Singapore where he sings about being Pinnochio.  I read that Beyonce requested it go on the album.  It’s probably best to not take advice from somebody going through their own failed attempt at a concept album (I Am… Sasha Fierce).  And by “failed” I mean both of their albums will be huge.

50 Cent was quoted saying that the public won’t forgive Kanye for this one.  I understand it’s hypocritical of me to bitch about rappers still talking about the same shit all day and then not like it when they switch it up.  But I can’t say something is great just because of its differentness.  Kanye was always different.  He was always self-aware.  That’s why I liked him in the first place.  I just want more fun.  I wanted A Good Ass Job.

If you were one of the people who liked “Flashing Lights”, but didn’t think it was moody or weird enough, you should get this album.  If you like “Through the Wire” and “Gone”, you should wait for the next one.

VERDICT: NOT FOR ME       

Blender’s Top 33 albums of 2008.  Also you can read my review of Chinese Democracy here.  

1. Lil’ Wayne, Tha Carter III
2. Girl Talk, Feed The Animals
3. TV On The Radio, Dear Science
4. Metallica, Death Magnetic
5. Hot Chip, Made In The Dark
6. Robyn, Robyn
7. Of Montreal, Skeletal Lamping
8. Randy Newman, Harps & Angels
9. Vampire Weekend, Vampire Weekend
10. Fall Out Boy, Folie A Deux
11. Death Cab For Cutie, Narrow Stairs
12. My Morning Jacket, Evil Urges
13. Al Green, Lay It Down
14. Jenny Lewis, Acid Tongue
15. Bon Iver, For Emma, Forever Ago
16. Be Your Own Pet, Get Awkward
17. Conor Oberst, Conor Oberst
18. Ponytail, Ice Cream Spiritual
19. Katy Perry, One Of The Boys
20. Wale, Mixtape About Nothing
21. Erykah Badu, New Amerykah Part I: Fourth World War
22. Coldplay, Viva La Vida
23. The Cool Kids, Bake Sale
24. The Roots, Rising Down
25. Santogold, Santogold
26. Usher, Here I Stand
27. Mariah Carey, E=MC2
28. Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks, Real Emotional Trash
29. Raphael Saadiq, The Way I See It
30. Young Jeezy, The Recession
31. Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!
32. Taylor Swift, Fearless
33. Hayes Carll, Trouble In Mind

- DC Comics is killing off Bruce Wayne as Batman.

- The Sarah Palin turkey slaughter video and Bruce Lee nun-chuck ping pong video are fucking everywhere.

- I wish I was the guy who wrote ‘Lizard People’ on that ballot in Minnesota.

- Alan Colmes is leaving Hannity & Colmes at the end of 2008.

- Wall Street liked the Citigroup bailout.  I’m completely losing track of all of this bailout shit.

- An article I read said that irreligious nations are among the most humane, moral and free.  Religious nations tend to be among the most destitute, chaotic, crime-ridden and undemocratic.  States and counties in the U.S. that have the biggest numbers of believers tend to have higher poverty rates, child abuse rates, violent crime rates and lower educational attainment rates than states and counties with more secular populations.  Except for athiest-communist regimes.  

- Everyone is hyping up The Wrestler for an Oscar.  Video Gum said it won’t win for makeup.  Mickey Rourke actually looks like that. 

- Jeff Dunham just had highest rated telecast in Comedy Central history.  He did play the Coliseum at Caesars in Vegas.  He’s bigger than I thought.  And FYI - I just sat next to him at the Caesar’s casino bar on Saturday night.

- Michael Jackson converted to Islam and changed his name to Mikaeel.  Just when the prince of Bahrain was suing him.  So weird.  

- Bush pardoned Marion Jones?

- Someone said about the GOP, ”Sometimes you have to lose in order to win. The Republican Party losing [is] forcing it to re-create itself into a party for the 21st century.”

- GM fired Tiger Woods.

- Why do I think it’s funny that Speidi got married?

I’m super far behind in my RSS feed.  Let’s start playing some catch-up.

1.  That movie, Milk, seems like it’s coming out at the perfect time.   

2.  SAG is going to strike?  That’d mean residge for any potential times a commercial or something is played Online.  Too early for me to care.

3.  NASCAR might be fucked.  I’ve actually been talking about this with OPRJ for a few weeks.  A bad economy might mean no more sponsorship deals, which account for 80% of any team’s budget.  Then there’s Peak Oil.  Not to mention the Big Three.  Are we going to see renewable energy or hybrid races?

4.  Everyone is writing about how much the music industry has changed since Guns N’ Roses last put out an album.  I might be reviewing the album for Comedy.com.  We’ll see.  But the interesting thing is comparing the way rock music is put out nowadays to the 1950s and ‘60’s, where people record faster and cheaper and head out on tour before the next YouTube sensation distracts potential fans.

5.  Gas prices are the lowest they’ve been since 2005.

6.  Some big report came out with predictions about the year 2025.  Russia and Canada’s oil supplies and access to their oil will improve because of global warming.  Water and food shortages will make Africa and South Asia even less stable.  And we’ll probably all be at war over those shortages, as well as energy shortages.  al-Qaeda won’t last.  Iran will be a big playa if it sheds its theocracy.

7.  The GOP has a 34% approval rating.

8.  The UN is planning military action against those pirates.

9.  Bill Kristol said that if McCain had chosen Joe Lieberman (which he initially suggested), staff would have left the campaign, there would have been protests at the RNC and the news media would have obsessed with the inter-party friction.  Is that why he was convinced to pick Palin?  Why do I still care?

10.  Rosie O’Donnell was in talks to have her own show on MSNBC.  I’d forgotten that.  She’s said before that she loves Olbermann and recently praised Rachel Maddow.

- Best Week Ever said Rolling Stone gave 4 stars to Chinese Democracy, which is the highest rating they can offer to “any post-1980 non-Dylan record”.  Still haven’t listened to it.  And I didn’t get my free Dr. Pepper.

- Fred Thompson is going back to acting.

- If universal health care passes it’s game over for the GOP?

Mike Mussina retired today.  He’s the first pitcher since Sandy Koufax in 1967 to win 20 games in his final season.  And just the 5th pitcher to do so since 1900.  Two of the others were Black Sox scandal teammates.  

Is he a Hall of Famer?

Yes.  I don’t think he’s first-ballot, but I think he’ll get in.

Although he was never really considered the best pitcher in baseball, Mussina was always amongst the best.  He was the ace of his staff with the Orioles, pretty much from 1992-2000.  He went to two post seasons with the Orioles, before going to the Yankees in 2001, where he pitched in two World Series.  

His stats are comparable to guys who are in - Juan Marichal, Jim Palmer, etc.  He has 270 wins.  300 is a lock.  Only 5 guys have more wins than him that aren’t in the Hall - including Tommy John, Bert Blyleven and Jim Kaat.  The fact that he won 20 games in his 18th season is pretty impressive.   

He never won the Cy Young Award, although he finished in the top 6 in voting on 9 occasions and got MVP votes in 3 seasons.  He was an All-Star 5 times.

- Hugh Jackman was People’s Sexiest Man Alive.

- Maybe Democrats approve of the auto bailout because they control Congress and don’t want to be blamed for GM, Chrystler or Ford potentially going under on their watch.

- The California Supreme Court might reverse Prop 8.  Why were voters even allowed the authority to decide on a constitutional change?

- The guy who owns the Oakland A’s wants the first round of the playoffs to be a best-of-one series.  He’s an idiot.  But he did get Matt Holliday.

- al-Zawahri (the #2 bad guy) said Barack Obama is the opposite of honorable black Americans like Malcolm X.  He also referred to Obama, Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice house negroes.  He also implied Obama is Jewish.  

- McCain won Missouri.  It’s all over, everybody.  No more bellweather bullshit.

Okay.  It’s settled.  And Kumail Nanjiani will be in town.  Possibly others.

- The Sarah Palin towel story isn’t true?  I’m getting confused. 

- The Boy Scouts’ stance on homosexuality was also driven by the Mormons?

- The jet trip that the GM CEO took to Washington DC cost $20,000 round trip.  Why is Obama avdocating a bailout for the car companies?  

- GQ named Obama, Michael Phelps, Leonardo DiCaprio and Jon Hamm its Men of the Year.

- If TV makes people unhappy, is that why there are so many anti-depressant ads on there?

- Dan Fogler is playing Sam Kinison in an HBO movie.  There are clips on YouTube.  It looks pretty good, actually.

- Michelle Bachman is denying saying the anti-American thing they taped her saying on Chris Matthews. 

I got this email today and am trying to coordinate.

“So Comedy Coalition would love to host a ‘Roast of the Blerds’ at the Blue Goose Lounge. We are thinking all 6 of you roast each other with Matt Braunger as the roastmaster and Brady Novak as a special guest. We think this will be HILarious!

Let us know if you are interested and if so which of the following Tuesday’s would work best. It’s going to be hard to get everyone’s schedule to work so give us a couple options if possible.

12/9, 1/6, 1/20, 2/3 or 2/17

Best,
Comedy Coalition”

I’ve decided to listen to Conservative talk radio (KRLA) on my commute to work.  It’s kind of hilarious to me.  And this dude is on in the morning.

- He was raised as an Orthodox Jew.

- He’s big into morals.  He thinks we’re in a culture war over the fundamental values America was built on.  

- He’s been married and divorced twice.

- He thinks universities, lawyers, unions, the ACLU, civil rights groups, and most newspaper and TV networks are dominated by secular leftists who attack Judeo-Christian values.

- He thinks Western Europe and Canada are a civilization in decline with a broken moral compass because of their secularist ways.  He thinks America has superior moral values.

- He thinks women are happier in a patriarchal society and that female depression is due to feminism.

- Is McCain running for Senate again in 2010?

- Katie Couric’s interview with Joe Lieberman is airing Wednesday night on CBS.  In letting him keep his chair post, Obama may have defanged his toughest potential opponent in the Senate Democratic caucus.  He owes Obama big.  

- Bankruptcy does not mean liquidation.  It might actually help GM.  There is a big potential market for them in China and India.  60% of Democrats approve a bailout, while 65% of Republicans oppose it.  I think I’m actually on the Republican side on this one.  I need a better argument for a bailout.

- Kangaroos and humans have a common ancestor 150 million years ago?

- Eric Holder is the first black attorney general?  Yawn.  We have a black president. 

- Somebody referred to the Obama kids’ hysteria over their school and their puppy as “consuming the most ordinary details of people with the most extraordinary lives.”  That’s a good way to put it - the fantasy, living vicariously.  

- Can we call the Somalian pirates something other than “pirates”?  If some Nordic people rob a convenient store, are the Vikings?  I need to look that up.

- Will Obama actually influence a BCS playoff?

- What did Jimmy Carter say about the Olympics?  An article said, “Carter didn’t have enough appreciation for the Olympics, and you see how that worked out for him.”

- Mark Begich beat Ted Stevens.  We can all relax about Sarah Palin in Congress now.

1.  Sarah Palin
2.  T. Boone Pickens
3.  Michael Phelps
4.  Gordon Brown
5.  Barack Obama
6.  Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
7.  Ben Bernanke
8.  Usain Bolt
9.  George W. Bush
10.  Hillary Clinton
11.  Tina Fey
12.  Google Guys (Sergey Brin, Eric Schmidt and Larry Page)
13.  Damien Hirst
14.  Wen Jiabao
15.  Hu Jintao
16.  Steve Jobs
17.  Nouri al-Maliki
18.  John McCain
19.  Douglas Melton
20.  Robert Mugabe
21.  Henry Paulson
22.  Liu Qi
23.  J. Craig Venter
24.  Zhang Yimou
25.  Asif Ali Zardari

Is it bad that I don’t really know who most of the Asians are?

4 years.  $52 million.

No real idea what this means for the Cubs’ prospects of getting Jake Peavy.  Now a lot of the sites think he’ll go to Atlanta.  By the way, Rick Sutcliffe has apparently been making calls to Peavy to try to get him to sign with the Cubs.  All of the other teams probably still have boners for CC Sabathia and AJ Burnett.  Dempster was a pretty big surprise in 2008 (sans the playoffs), so I’m curious to see how he does in the future.  Let’s see if that glove shit he started doing continues to pay off.

- Did Hillary accept the Secretary of State job?

- Prince is anti-gay?

- Is this Michael Jackson-Middle Eastern prince lawsuit going to get interesting?

- Sarah Palin was offered $7 million for her autobiography.  

- Kelly Clarkson already signed a record deal before she did American Idol?

- There’s really no such thing as selling out anymore.  

- Should Obama really go after Osama bin Laden?  Is he still relevant?  He’s 51 now.  If we never catch him, when will we just assume he’s dead? 

- Mike Huckabee has a new book where he trashes Mitt Romney.

- O’Reilly says “secular extremist”, which is super annoying.  He thinks limiting gun possession, legalizing narcotics, unrestricted abortion and the revocation of the Patriot Act are coming in the new “culture war”.

- 16th President, first Republican President 

- Born in a log cabin in Kentucky, he was the 1st President born outside of the 13 Colonies.

- 6’4”

- Elected to the House in 1846 as a Whig.  He spoke out against the Mexican-American War.  He made remarks that led to him not run for reelection.  He became a prairie lawyer for years.

- He returned to politics in 1854, and the Lincoln-Douglas debates began in 1858.  Lincoln became a national political star.

- 1858: “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”

- “Honest Abe” and “The Rail Splitter” were names that came out of his 1860 Presidential campaign.

- In 1860 and ‘61, Southern states seceded and declared themselves the Confederacy.  The Civil War began at Fort Sumter in 1861.  

- The Emancipation Proclamation was announced in 1862, which freed slaves.

- He instituted the draft in 1863.  Later that year he gave the Gettysburg Address.  

- He was reelected in 1864.  The Civil War ended in 1865.

- During the Civil War, Lincoln suspended the writ of habeas corpus.

- The Legal Tender Act of 1862 established the first paper currency in U.S. history.

- John Wilkes Booth originally just wanted to kidnap Lincoln.  A 12 day manhunt occurred after the assassination.  

- He appointed political rivals to high positions in his cabinet.

- He rejected organized religion.  He often looked to the Declaration of Independence for his views.

- Lincoln, Nebraska was named for him before he became President.

- A 4,600 year old grave of a family was found in Germany, which is the earliest evidence of people living as a family.

- Katt Williams has undergone doctors treatment after a series of missed gigs, a gun arrest and rumors about bizarre behavior.  He had recently dropped out of performing at The Comedy Festival in Vegas.  

- Tim Pawlenty said the GOP was going to need “more than just a comb-over.”

- Ask Men’s 49 most influential men of 2008…

1.  Barack Obama
2.  Steve Jobs
3.  Michael Phelps
4.  Robert Downey Jr.
5.  Stephen Colbert
6.  Gordon Ramsay
7.  Christian Bale
8.  Rob Kay
9.  Cristiano Ronaldo
10.  John McCain
11.  Lorne Michaels

12.  Tom Ford

13.  Mark Zuckerberg

14.  Dana White

15.  Jon Stewart

16.  Thom Yorke

17.  Kanye West

18.  Kobe Bryant

19.  Ben Bernanke

20.  LeBron James

21.  Usain Bolt

22.  George Clooney

23.  Jonathan Ive

24.  Lakshmi Mittal

25.  David Beckham

26.  Jimmy Kimmel

27.  Liu Peng

28.  Arnold Schwarzenegger

29.  Junot Diaz

30.  Rafael Nadal

31.  Judd Apatow

32.  Harvey Levin

33.  Brad Pitt

34.  Tiesto

35.  Sam Houser

36.  Andew Farah

37.  J.J. Abrams

38.  Jacques Herzog

39.  Heath Ledger

40.  Brett Favre

41.  Lewis Hamilton

42.  David Simon/Ed Brown

43.  Thom Browne

44.  Ryan Seacrest

45.  Sidney Crosby

46.  Alex Rodriguez

47.  Criss Angel

48.  Lil Wayne

49.  Kevin Rose

- Alicia Sacramone is shooting a test reel for Bravo, A&E, Style and MTV.

- Sarah Palin is being pursued by CAA, ICM, William Morris and Paradigm.  

- I guess this means Mark Cuban won’t be buying the Cubs.

- Obama gave 60 Minutes it’s biggest ratings in 9 years.

- Trey Parker, Matt Stone and Avenue Q co-creator Jeff Marx are working on a Broadway musical called Mormon Musical.  Cheyenne Jackson is set to star.

Also receiving votes…

 It was Pujols’ second MVP award.  

This is who Entertainment Weekly is saying will be the “next Chris Rocks and Sarah Silvermans”…

BO BURNHAM

- Upcoming Comedy Central special and a Judd Apatow musical comedy.

ANJELAH JOHNSON

- TBS sitcom pilot with Valerie Bertinelli

WHITNEY CUMMINGS

T.J. MILLER

Why We Think He’ll Be Big Bringing his offbeat onstage timing to TV, the goofy, rubbery comic was the best thing about ABC’s short-lived sitcomCarpoolers. In Cloverfield, he made an impression in very few frames as the quippy, mostly unseen narrating Handicammer, and you’ll see him in Mike Judge’s next film, Extract.
Why He Thinks He’ll Be Big ”I am to comedy what rap stars are to acting. Out of place, without a real grasp of the genre, and vital to the American people.”

AZIZ ANSARI

- New Office spinoff with Amy Poehler

JEN KIRKMAN

JOHN MULANEY

KRISTEN SCHAAL

LIZ CACKOWSKI

MIKE BIRBIGLIA

ROY WOOD JR.

PETE CORREALE

Entertainment Weekly’s Entertainers of the Year

1.  Robert Downey Jr. 
2.  Tina Fey
3.  Cast and Crew of The Dark Knight
4.  The Gossip Girls
5.  Stephenie Meyer
6.  Lil Wayne
7.  Rock Band
8.  The Women of Sex and the City
9.  The Jonas Brothers
10.  The Talking Heads
11.  Meryl Streep
12.  The Stars of Bravo
13.  James Franco
14.  Wall-E
15.  Coldplay
16.  Elizabeth Banks
17.  Yunjin Kim and Daniel Dae Kim 
18.  Kid Rock
19.  Jon Hamm
20.  Facebook
21.  Katy Perry
22.  Richard Jenkins
23.  Michael Phelps  
24.  Leona Lewis
25.  Neil Patrick Harris

The top-grossing movies of 2008…

The #1 songs of 2008…

“Low” by Flo Rida ft. T-Pain 
“Love in This Club” by Usher ft. Young Jeezy
“Bleeding Love” by Leona Lewis
“Touch My Body” by Mariah Carey
“Lollipop” by Lil Wayne ft. Static Major
“Take a Bow” by Rihanna
“Viva la Vida” by Coldplay
“I Kissed a Girl” by Katy Perry
“Disturbia” by Rihanna
“Whatever You Like” by T.I.
“So What” by Pink
“Live Your Life” by T.I. ft. Rihanna
“Womanizer” by Britney Spears

#1 song and #1 album…

27 popular websites that became books.

- The Cubs are interested in Randy Johnson.

- Fire Joe Morgan is calling it quits.

- Rachel Maddow was on Boner Party.

- Mark Cuban has been charged with insider trading.

- Wanda Sykes came out of the closet.

- The Roots are going to be Jimmy Fallon’s house band?

- Some conservatives are saying White Guilt is dead.

- Hulu is going to equal YouTube’s ad revenue within the next year.

- 7th President of the United States.

- At age 13, he joined the Revolutionary War as a courier.  He was captured by the British and held prisoner, where he nearly starved to death.  He grew to hate the British.

- He was a frontier lawyer.

- He owned a plantation with slaves.  At one point he had as many as 150 slaves.

- He commanded the Tennessee militia against Tecumseh during the Creek War.  Sam Houston and Davie Crockett served under him.

- He commanded the U.S. against the British in the Battle of New Orleans, where he got the nickname “Old Hickory”.  He became a national hero.

- He led a campaign in Georgia in the First Seminole War.  He was also told to prevent Spanish Florida from becoming a refuge for runaway slaves.  When he found out that British and Spanish troops were supplying Indians, Jackson invaded Florida.  It became an international incident, but was backed by Secretary of State John Quincy Adams, who believed in Manifest Destiny.  Spain ceded Florida.     

- In 1824, he received the most popular votes for the Presidency, but the House chose Adams as President.  This branded Jackson as a “man of the people”, while Adams was seen as a “corrupt aristocrat of the East.”

- Jackson was elected President in 1828.  He ran as a Democrat.  His opponents called him a jackass, which he enjoyed.  It became a symbol of the party.  At one point the press accused Jackson’s wife of bigamy.  It was true.

- He invited the public to attend the White House inauguration ball.  It got wild.

- He was re-elected in 1832.

- He tried to get the Electoral College abolished.  

- He was a big advocate of Indian Removal.  One of his treaties was enforced by his successor Martin Van Buren, which led to the Cherokee Trail of Tears.

- The first assassination attempt against a President happened to Jackson.  His attacker thought he was King Richard III and was deemed insane.

- Jackson fought 13 duels, many over his wife’s honor.  Only one man was killed.  Jackson had several bullets lodged in his body for the remainder of his life.

- He strongly opposed secession, even though he owned slaves.

- He was 6’1” and weighted about 130 lbs.  He coughed up blood frequently because of the musket ball lodged in his lunges.  

- Many places are named after him, including Jacksonville.

- He appears on the $20, but has also appeared on the $5, $10, $50 and Confederate $1000.  

The last two movies I’ve seen star children.  The Boy in the Striped Pajamas and Son of Rambow.  One is really, really good and the other should be avoided at all costs.  

I really don’t know why The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is getting such rave reviews.  It was actually shocking how bad the movie is.  Like, the writer and director said to themselves, “How to we make the Holocaust sadder?  Oh yeah, we’ll add kids.”  Why not kittens and puppies?  And the ending isn’t so much “powerful” as mind-bogglingly heavy handed and awful.  When the credits rolled, nobody in the theater moved.  I won’t give away what happens, but I caught myself thinking, “they’re really going to do that?”   Yeah, they did.   

I actually wanted to see Valkyrie, but I don’t think I can watch another Nazi movie for at least 30 years.  Come on.  The innocence of adorable children + an other-side-of-the-tracks friendship + the Holocaust = most horrible movie ever.

Coincidentally, the star of Striped Pajamas (Asa Butterfield) plays a minor character in a movie I did enjoy, Son of Rambow.  It’s set in the ’80s and actually a lot like an old Savage Steve Holland movie.  You know, the guy who directed Better Off Dead and One Crazy Summer.  That one I liked.  I needed to write something about it, just to erase the memory of Striped Pajamas.  Just like the actual Holocaust - never again.

A very conservative coworker of mine is a huge fan of Fred Thompson.  Let’s get to know him…

- He’s 66.

- He was on Law and Order.  His acting career began after he played himself in a movie.

- He was a lawyer for the Republicans in the Watergate scandal.  Nixon didn’t think Thompson was skilled enough to interrogate witnesess and would be outfoxed by the Democrats.  

- He was a lobbyist and helped to deregulate the Savings and Loan industry.  That didn’t go well.  But he made millions.

- He replaced Al Gore in the Senate in 1994.

- He played the part of Bill Clinton in 1996 for Bob Dole’s debate prep.

- He was considered for George W. Bush’s running mate in 2000.

- He got criticized for being a lazy Senator. 

- His entrance into the 2008 Presidential campaign was described as lackluster and awkward.  

- He doesn’t believe judges should decide social policy (abortion, gay marriage etc).

- He supported (and even did commercials for) the invasion of Iraq.

- He’s skeptical that humans cause global warming and says there’s a parallel on Mars.

- He got married for the first time at age 17.

- He said his favorite posession is his “trophy wife”.  She’s 24 years younger.

- This reporter “can’t hear shit”.

- Paula Abdul is leaving American Idol?  And something about a stalker suicide.

- The Mormons are getting fake anthrax sent to them?

- The family of Martin Luther King wants some money for all of the Obama-inspired MLK merch.  King’s likeness, writings and voice are intellectual property subject to approval by the estate.  Obama’s image is public domain.

- There are very few high profile openly gay black people.

- Dubai doesn’t really produce anything of value.  Oil is only 5% of its GDP.  The economy relies on tourism and that’s about it.  80% of the population of the UAE is foreign laborers brought in the build their skyscrapers and hotels.  And most of the money they make is sent back to other countries.  If the Dubai bubble bursts, it’ll affect a lot of economies.  

- Kanye West called himself the voice of this generation and the decade.  And that he’s like Michael Jordan.  He said Justin Timberlake was close, but hasn’t come out with enough material.  Wait.  Did Suge Knight get shot in the leg at one of Kanye’s parties?

- There were rumors about Sarah Palin appearing on Desperate Housewives, but they’re apparently not true.

- Palin is still fucking talking about Bill Ayers and Obama’s present votes in the Senate.  She said she would consider serving in the Senate (if God gave her the opportunity).  Ted Stevens fell behind Mark Behgich in the continual Alaskan Senatorial race.  Wasn’t it her swipes at Obama that led to her ratings dropping in the first place?

- Bush sitting out this year’s election is apparently unprecedented.

I’m too tired for more than 5 things.

-  Michael Moore is doing a movie about the economic crisis.  It supposedly has an end-of-an-empire feel.  How’s he gonna do, post-Bush?

- Eminem’s buddy Trick Trick said he doesn’t want any homosexuals buying his new album.  ”I don’t want your faggot money any goddamn way.”

- Kerry Wood will not be back with the Cubs next season.

- Some people are leaving the Mormon church because of the big hub bub.

- Bush said he regrets the Mission Accomplished banner.

- Our country was conquered in 1913.  Our conquerers were a group of New York banks, owned by the Warburgs and Rothschilds of Europe.  Their representatives here were JP Morgan, John D Rockefeller and Nelson Aldrich, etc.  Long before coming to America, these ancient families became wealthier by European kings by practicing “fractional reserve” banking.  Paper money enhanced it.  It replaced gold.  People used to store their gold with a goldsmith, and then get a receipt.  Eventually people just traded the receipts.  Goldsmiths often forged the receipts and spent the money.  Or they would loan forged receipts out at interest.  There wasn’t enough gold to honor the receipts.  The most successful goldsmiths were good at forging a percentage of receipts so that people wouldn’t notice.  The fractional reserve system was a mathematical technique for concealing the fraud to the victims.  That is the basis of our system today.  The Federal Reserve act made the receipts of the Warburgs and Rothschilds our legal tender.  Now, the only money in our economy is bank loans.  Then a cycle of dept… I need to find out more about this theory.    

- John McCain is in Georgia campaigning for Saxby Chambliss.  Chambliss once had ads that painted Max Cleland (who lost 3 limbs in Vietman) as a friend of bin Laden and Saddam Hussein.  McCain called Chambliss disgraceful and reprehensible when the ads aired.  Now he’s campaigning for him… against Jim Martin, another Vietnam vet.

- Hillary is being considered for Secretary of State. 

- I need to read more about Ronald Reagan’s “Star Wars” program.  I just read an article about how Reagan got the idea in a B-movie he made in the ’40s.  The result was other countries trying to get more nukes.  

- Republicans are saying Obama didn’t win by that much?  Dude, Bush DIDN’T win one election at all.  What are they talking about? 

- John Kerry did better than Obama with two demographics - people over 65… and gays and lesbians.  What’s with blacks vs. gays?

- This video of a toddler firing up a Phillies crowd is hilarious.

- Do political parties not win three terms in a row very often?

It’s happened a bunch.

- Sarah Palin is the future of the GOP?  More like ‘the past’.

- That movie “Australia” is supposed to debut soon and it isn’t even done yet.

- Sarah Palin said she was comfortable with Obama as commander in chief.

- Conservative radio personalities are trying to get people to think the Democrats are going to institute the Fairness Doctrine to kick them off the air.  The Fairness Doctrine was a Truman-era rule to get broadcasters to avoid touchy subjects.  The FCC abolished in in 1987.  

- Some top Austrian journalist said they didn’t want the Western world run by a black man.  A right-wing dude in Poland’s Parliament said Obama was the end of the white man’s civilization.  

Lou Pinella won the N.L. Manager of the Year Award.  Joe Maddon of the Tampa Bay Rays on the A.L. honors.  Pinella also won in 1995 and 2001 with the Mariners.  Weirdly enough, Dale Sveum of the Brewers got a third-place vote after only managing 12 games.  He’s also the best manager who will also be returning as his team’s hitting coach after a real manager was hired.  Tony La Russa and Bobby Cox are the only managers with more awards (4) than Pinella.  Jim Leyland, La Russa, Cox and Pinella are the only guys to win the award in both leagues.    

Other Cubs winners are Jim Frey (1984) and Don Zimmer (1989).

Tim Lincecum, the second-year pitcher for the Giants won the N.L. Cy Young Award.  Also getting votes: Brandon Webb, Johan Santana, Brad Lidge, CC Sabathia and Ryan Dempster.

3 other pitchers have won Cy Young Awards in their second seasons.  

Good story.  He eats junk food before starts, doesn’t ice his arm and when he was called up from the minors in 2007, security thought he was a bat boy.

The A.L. winner will be announced Thursday.  Probz Cliff Lee.

Other times Cubs have gotten votes in my lifetime.

Ryan Dempster 2008
Carlos Zambrano: 2007, 2006, 2004
Mark Prior: 2003
John Lieber: 2001
Randy Myers: 1993
Greg Maddux: 1992 (WINNER), 1989
Mike Bielecki: 1989
Mitch Williams: 1989
Rick Sutcliffe: 1987, 1984 (WINNER)
Lee Smith: 1983
Bruce Sutter: 1979 (WINNER)

- Lots of people are trying to prove that the black vote on Prop 8 didn’t really affect the outcome since they were only only 10% of the vote.  I think people are worried they’re being scapegoated or people are saying ‘how dare they’.  

- Pundits are still saying this is a center-right nation, even though ‘The Most Liberal Member of the Senate’ got voted president and most members of the House and Senate are Democrats.

- Obama didn’t have a liberal media bias in the election.  Most of the stories were ‘horse race’ articles about who was winning in the polls.  And since Obama was winning most of the time, that’s what was mentioned.  Plus, can the media be faulted when McCain-Palin had so many fucking gaffes and inaccurate statements?  What about the conservative journalists who grew critical of McCain?  Or what about the fact that McCain got the GOP nomination waaaaay before Obama?  

- Did Obama put an end to the influence of the Deep South?  He won North Carolina, Virginia and Florida.  Obama is the first non-southern Democrat to be elected president since JFK.  The Southern strategy took shape under Nixon, co-optiong Southern whites on racial issues.  Then again, in 1992 Clinton won Arkansas, Tennessee, Louisiana and Georgia.   

- There were protesters outside the Kennedy Center for George Carlin’s posthumous Twain Award holding signs saying he was going to hell.  Carlin left behind an uncompleted autobiography, which will be published next year… with family members filling in the missing parts.  Best Week Ever said the protesters validate his career with their irony.     

- Will Smith’s son Jaden is doing a remake of The Karate Kid.

- Mormons baptize Jews who died in the Holocaust?  Baptism by proxy is creepola.    

- Oregon elected an openly transgender mayor.  

- Barack Obama is half awesome black guy and half nerdy white guy.  I found the funny!  Somebody else said he is the only person to be 100% half-white.

- Jim Norton said, “Too many comedians are obsessed over being right and being politically brilliant and poignant and they end up just boring everybody.

- Founded the National Review in 1955 and hosted Firing Line from 1966-1999.

- He fused traditional conservatism with laissez-faire (libertarianism) and anti-communism, laying the groundwork for Barry Goldwater and Ronald Reagan.  

- He was a Skull and Bones member at Yale and was editor of the school newspaper and captain of the debate team.

- He served briefly in the CIA and as a delegate to the United Nations.

- In 1954, he co-wrote a book defending Joseph McCarthy.  

- In 1957, he supported the segregationist South and called whites the advanced race.  He changed his views in the mid-1960s and renounced racism.  Mainly because he didn’t like the tactics used by white supremacists against the civil rights movement.

- The National Review opposed civil rights legistlation, but later said it was a mistake.

- He worked to remove anti-Semitism from the conservative movement.   

- His column On The Right was syndicated in more than 320 newspapers. 

- He ran for mayor of New York City unsuccessfully in 1965.

- He did a series of debates with Gore Vidal in 1968.  Buckley called Vidal a queer and told him he would sock him in his goddamn face.  Esquire commissioned essays from both on the incident, which led them both to sue each other for libel.  

- He had a heated debate with Carl Sagan about nuclear war, after The Day After aired in 1983.

- Dustin Hoffman modeled his voice off of Buckley in the movie Hook.

- His son, Christopher, wrote Thank You for Smoking.  He also endorsed Barack Obama for president. 

- Rolling Stone says it sounds a lot like the other GNR records.  They were complimentary.  I need to give it a listen.

- Sarah Palin got offered $2 million to appear in a porno.  Todd was offered co-production and a new Arctic Cat snowmobile. 

- Bobby Jindal’s name increased 350% in searches this week.  He’s tied with Mitt Romney and second to Palin in 2012-related searches. 

- Howard Dean is stepping down as head of the DNC.  The replacement might be Claire McCaskill. 

- Does Obama’s election help the chances of Chicago getting the Olympics in 2016?  They decide next October.

- Evangelicals were a slightly bigger part of the McCain vote than the Bush vote.  

- Should the gays have sit-ins at marriage license places and government buildings instead of protesting at churches?

- I need to read more about William F. Buckley.  Because of the GOP’s current situation, people are always talking about him now.

- Sarah Palin said God would reveal to her if she should run in 2012.

- Paul Broun, a Republican congressman from Georgia said Monday that he fears Obama will establish a Gestapo-like security and impose a Marxist dictatoship.  Then he compared Obama to Hitler.  And he said Obama will ban gun ownership.  I don’t know if this dude knows the difference between like, the Nazis and the Soviet Union.  But I do know that this dude is fucking retarded.

- Palin also said that somebody accused her of wanting to ban Harry Potter books when she was mayor, but that it was impossible because, “Harry Potter had not been written yet”.  Bzzzzzzzzzt.  She was mayor of Wasilla from 1996 to 2002.