Stand-Up Thoughts
I did a show last night at M Bar, where they used to do Death-Ray. Place has the potential to be really great. But it wasn’t last night. About 8 paying audience members. Bar staff. 4 drunk assholes at the bar. A handful of comics. But it wasn’t that bad. I’ve seen worse.
But one of the comics, whom I’d never before, opened her set with, “This is the worst gig I’ve ever had”. OPENED with that. She’d later yell “Worst gig ever!” as she walked off the stage to the mostly-empty room.
1. This is seriously the worst gig you’ve ever done? Really? A cool bar with 20 total people in the crowd, most of whom have never seen you go up?
It was far from ideal, granted. But if that’s the worst gig you’ve ever done, you’ve had a crazily good and lucky comedy career. I’ve done stand-up for almost 6 years. I’ve done a Gay and Lesbian Police Association gig, where I bombed for ten minutes in front of a packed house of angry lesbians in Chicago. I’ve gone up to an angry crowd of meatheads and old women at a strip club in Milwaukee. I had to follow a guy who picked a fight with an audience member at a coffee house. I’m not claiming to be a big timer, but that was a walk in the park, Sweets. That one statement shows you’re either brand new to comedy or that you only perform at, like, the Comedy Store.
2. Who are you saying that to? The audience? The venue? The fellow-comic that threw you a bone and booked you? I don’t get it.
Why punish the audience? They fucking paid to be in there and they’re there to watch the show. It can’t really be their fault. No reason to go after the venue either. They weren’t complete dolls in this scenario, but they let us do a show there. And it’s a cool bar. If it’s addressed to the comic that booked you, then that’s total bullshit. Thank you for doing our lowly show, Ms. Comedy Megastar. Thank you for gracing us and letting us watch you bomb in our terrible, terrible show.
3. Why throw your set?
It’s a defense mechanism, I know. I’ve done it before. I’ve gone up on stage like I’d lost a bet and then proceeded to eat shit. But I learned my lesson. You can do well in bad situations just by acting like it’s not a bad situation. But this was your way of passing the buck. You basically said, “I don’t have the experience, the confidence, the material or the personality to do well here”. And, on top of that, you fucking OPENED with it. ”Hi everyone. I’m not good at comedy and am going to bomb”.
It’s not worth it, but I’ve been stewing over this all day.
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