July 2008
45 posts
This Exists...
My sister tagged me in this photo on Facebook today. This is me circa ‘84. I think, anyway. Lake Okoboji. Iowa. Not a strong swimmer.
While I Was Working...
- I enjoyed this one.
- Misspelled tattoos are the new big thing.
- Pudge Rodriguez just went to the Yankees.
- Zimbabwe currency is on eBay.
- People getting half hour comedy specials on Comedy Central in 2009: Pete Lee, Rebecca Corry, Joe DeRosa, Brian Scolaro, Anthony Jeselnik, Doug Benson, Kurt Metzger, Tom Rhodes, Dan Levy, Jasper Redd, Eddie Ifft, Jamie Lissow, Greer Barnes, Tommy...
WatchScare Tactics is on Hulu. I love this show.
News Dump (10 Things)
- Ichiro got his 3000th hit, if you combine his MLB hits (1721) and his Japanese hits. Dunno how I feel about that. I wonder if they’ll ever bring in Japanese baseball stars (Sadaharu Oh) into the Hall of Fame.
- Mark Teixeira went to the Angels. That means the Braves are done and the Angels are really fucking good now. They already have the best record in baseball.
- Shark Week...
Tuesday's 3 Things
1. My first earthquake! Downgraded to a 5.4. But I felt it. Burns has the best story.
2. Mike Wiley is in town. He got an earthquake on his first full day visiting L.A. He was wearing this shirt yesterday. It made me look up a bunch of Alex Ross’ artwork.
He had this t-shirt today:
3. The Cubs have taken the first two from the Brewers and are back up three games in the...
Sunday's Eight Things
1 - Cubs win. Brewers lose. Cubs are back in first. How many people still say “Milley-wall-kay” because of Alice Cooper in Wayne’s World? Everybody.
2 - Burns sent me this t-shirt.
3 - Greenland wants its independence. I had no idea Greenland wasn’t independent.
4 - Somebody started a video project to make videos for Girl Talk’s “Feed the...
Here's Some More Crap
Shecky Magazine is saying that these are your 5 finalists for Last Comic Standing, so it appears Adam Hunter, Ron G and Sean Cullen get voted off.
Weird. Also weird since I heard that the contestants have known who’s going to the finals for a while. And I feel like Ron G had one of the best sets last week. I don’t want to care, but I do.
- I think I’ll watch the the...
News Dumper
- Was this fake? And why do I care?
- Christian Bale’s mom was a circus clown? Why is that so fucking hilarious to me?
- Now people are saying that Batman is based off of George Bush.
- Remember how big all that Late Night shit was with Letterman and Leno in ‘92 and ‘93. It’s coming back.
- Look at the fucking picture of Obama in Germany.
- Sherri Shepherd keeps...
Tattoo Options
Burns came home with a design he made for a tattoo. It’s the red banner thing at the bottom of the Appetite for Destruction album, with some personalized shit. After much thought, I can only really think of a couple things I would be okay with getting on myself. I have no tattoos, you see. Here they are.
This is the old school WWF logo, before the World Wildlife Federation sued...
In Da News...
- I’ll never understand this Miley Cyrus fascination. If you’re 15 it automatically disqualifies you from me giving a shit about what you do.
- There was a fight during an WNBA game. I wonder if the footage is as ‘exciting’ as when those ladies ‘dunk’.
- Why did I just watch a Wendy Williams vs. Omarosa talk show fight video and enjoy myself?
- The...
Let's See... The Top 25
Everyone was still talking about The Dark Knight today. I want to see how high up on my list it goes. Let’s see… Really putting myself out there for this. And remember, “favorite” does not equal “best”.
#14. Wow.
The Dark Knight
This is hard for me to say. But, after one viewing of this movie, I think it’s the best superhero movie of all time. It might even be better than that.
During the first 1/4 of the movie, I remembered Iron Man and how good I thought that one was. Then I felt bad for it. Robert Downey Jr. is great in that movie. But the comparison isn’t even fair. The Dark Knight is that much...
Sunday's Things of Interest
Nouri al-Maliki - You should try to know who this dude is. He’s the Prime Minister of Iraq. And he wants us outta there. Maybe. I have no idea what the fuck “time horizon” means.
- Only 24% of white people approve of Michelle Obama. That’s a worse approval rating than George Bush has. Oh, racism.
- 46% of Americans support military action against Iran if Iran...
Seven Things of Interest
- Is the National League really in that big of a slump? Sure, they haven’t won the All-Star Game since 1996. But since then the Marlins (twice), Diamondbacks and Cardinals have won the World Series. Wait. That’s only 4 times in 12 years.
- Say what you want about the Yankees, but Yankee Stadium closing is kind of making me sad.
- John McCain was born in the Panama Canal. He...
In Da News...
Something that made me dislike one Obama supporter: After one of Bernie Mac’s jokes at that Obama fundraiser last week, somebody yelled “”It’s not funny. Let’s get Barack on”. I wish Bernie Mac could have destroyed that guy. Yes, you paid $2300 to be there. But so did everybody else. You have no sense of humor? Oh wait, it’s beginning to look that...
I Got Mentioned in Dead-Frog.
He calls me a funny young comic. I’ll take it.
Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show
This one’s been out for a while and I never had any desire to see it. And I’m a huge comedy documentary nerd. I actually enjoyed some things about Tourgasm. Still nothing. But tonight I finally watched it. And it’s good. I did an Improv show with Scott Caparulo. He’s super good. The background stuff they did with all the comics (Capaurlo, Bret Ernst, Ahmed Ahmed...
RSS Cleanup
- I love this pic of Josh Brolin filming W. Too bad he got arrested or something recently in some bar fight or something.
- Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen are supposedly doing unannounced stand-up gigs around L.A. to prepare for their new Apatow movie. I’ve heard nothing other than the Apatow and (I believe) Jonah Hill sightings at UCB. But I think they’re in Montreal right now or...
In Da News...
- Josh Hamilton’s home run fest last night was insane. Find a clip. I’m also gonna look for the clip where Chase Utley told the Yankee Stadium fans to fuck off. Got it. It’s here.
- The Smoking Gun published Hamilton’s mugshot today.
- Here’s my Comedy.com blog about Pat Brice.
A bunch of Chicago ex-pats are heading to Blue Goose Lounge tonight to...
To the Laddy.
Chicago vs. Austin Tonight @ Garage Comedy
In Da News...
- How’s this cover gonna go? Well, it’s The New Yorker. Not like hillbillys read it.
- The All-Star break is here, kids. YOUR Chicago Cubs are tied for the best record in baseball (with the Angels). And ESPN analyst Jason Stark made his mid-season picks for MVP and Cy Young. He picks Albert Pujols, Ian Kinsler, Tim Lincecum and Mariano Rivera.
For Cy Young, I always...
RSS Cleanup
- A-Rod’s wife was ripped. Madonna is ripped. The other broads coming forward saying they slept with him are ripped. Seems like A-Rod is into muscular broads. He also passed Mickey Mantle on the all-time home run list with his 537th.
- The top college basketball recruit, Brandon Jennings, is going to play in Europe rather than play at Arizona.
- Grey’s Anatomy writers might...
Super High Me
I watched Doug Benson’s documentary, Super High Me, last night. I think I just wanted a funny movie where Doug Benson gets high and is funny. Is partly that, but it’s also a lot of rhetorical shit the director or producer put in there about the legalization of marijuana or the benefits of medical marijuana.
Yes, I think pot should be legal. But medical marijuana is bullshit....
Since My 'Non-Comedy Friends' Always Ask...
These are the finalists of your beloved Last Comic Standing that I’ve met or done shows with…
Adam Hunter
I did the Vivid Comedy Party show with him last year at Riddles in Orland Park, IL. I’ve done a showcase in the Valley with him (Stovepipers) out here. And he came in to Comedy.com today and, as he was finishing his meeting, helped me think of other people named Gary I...
I am the ListMaster.
Here are some more lists I made for Comedy.com…
13 People Named Gary I Want to Fight
A column I wrote about hating my roommates.
12 Celebrities Who Look Like They Take the Biggest Craps.
Baseball’s All-Ugly Team.
The 10 Worst #1 Songs of the Past 10 Years.
Variety's 10 Comics to Watch (and other crap)
Read the article here.
Russell Brand, Brandon T. Jackson, Anthony Jeselnick, Jon LaJoie, Ralphie May, TJ Miller, Jay Phillips, John Mulaney, Paul Rust and Casey Wilson.
Also…
The Montreal Just for Laughs Festival has started. Soon, we’ll get to know who got picked for the New Faces showcase. Not me. But 20ish other fine folks. All my big time industry contacts will be...
Wednesday RSS Cleanup
- I’m not following this Angelina Jolie pregnancy. I just glanced at something that said she was having a C section. I might be clueless. I thought she’d had the kids already. How many times has that been falsely reported?
- Jesse Jackson said he wanted to cut Obama’s nuts off. Then he apologized.
- Some people are getting their legs broken to be taller.
- Nobody I...
RSS Feed Catch-Up Part III (Because I Can't Sleep)
PS - This is only the shit I won’t be submitting for my Comedy.com links list.
- I think I have something dope for my 30 Rock spec script. I typed up 6 pages tonight and am going to sleep on it.
These Marge Simpson Dunks are worth posting.
- Plus check out the craziness surrounding the release of the McFly Hyperdunks at the Santa Monica UNDFTD. Kobe showed up in a De Lorean.
-...
RSS Feed Catch-Up Part II
- 7 All-Stars. Nice.
- C.C. Sabathia finally went to the Brewers. Cubs bloggers are scrambling to come up with ideas for how they’re optimistic.
- Madonna is denying the A-Rod and divorce rumors. This is the biggest celebrity/baseball player scandal I can think of.
- Everyone is talking about Eddie Murphy returning to stand-up, where he’ll be working out (will it be L.A.???)...
30 Rock
Just finished watching all of Season 2 on Hulu. I borrowed Season 1 and I need to catch up on those. Backwards, I know. But I’m writing a dope ass spec script with Mike Holmes when he gets back from Iowa.
RSS Feed Catch-Up and Other Random Thoughts
Hey! It’s Sunday. Let’s get caught up on my dope ass RSS feed. Or as caught up as I feel like.
- Wesley Clark questioned John McCain’s wartime experience. A bunch of people got mad.
- McCain made a weird wife beating joke he had to apologize for.
- For the first time in history, there might not be ice at the North Pole this summer. A few scumbags see it as a great...
Our Worst Enemies
It was the 4th of July yesterday and I was mentally working on a new list for Comedy.com. Who are our country’s biggest enemies ever?
Stand-Up Thoughts II
Rule #488: If You’re Going to Do Obvious Crowd Work, Please Watch the Other Comics.
A few months ago, I went to a show at the Hollywood Improv. Most of the audience was made up of Asian singles, who had apparently decided on their Asian singles social network to meet up and go see a comedy show. Most of the entire front section of the Improv was full of Asians, which is unusual.
One of...
Watch
Comedy Coalition Tuesday Night.
The show I’m in Tuesday is supposed to be great. And it just got written up in The Coming.
Highlights of last week include:
- “One of the best lines of the night, however, was Mike Burns’ concern that fucking an Olsen girl would puncture through the other side, like a Capri Sun package.”
- Norm MacDonald showing up.
Burns and Mike Holmes told me all about the latter and...
