Well, we’re finally all over weather delays and talking about ugly uniforms, but good teams still played horseshit directional schools this week and I learned that Iowa ain’t what she used to be. Here’s week 2.
#2 LSU beat Northwestern State 49-3.
LSU’s defense is too fast. Jarrett Lee and 6-5 222 pound Zach Mettenberger split time at quarterback… you know, because their main dude, Jordan Jefferson, kicked a fucking Marine in the face. But LSU still dominated. And mainly played subs.
#3 Alabama beat #23 Penn State 27-11.
So it looks like Bama’s quarterback controversy is over, with AJ McCarron as the victor. Penn State still has no clear cut guy. Then again, they also played the nation’s best defense, which almost picked 5 consecutive Penn State throws in a row at one point. Trent Richardson also ran for 111 yards and 2 TDs.
#5 Florida State beat Charleston Southern 62-10.
Charleston Southern sucks. But EJ Manuel still threw for 329 yards and 4 touchdowns. Oklahoma is this week. Oooh.
#6 Stanford beat Duke 44-14.
Stanford started slow. Then they handled business. Andrew Luck threw for 290.
#8 Wisconsin beat Oregon State 35-0.
Russell Wilson had 3 touchdowns. He’s probably going to be a Heisman candidate, at least early in the season. Montee Ball had 118 yards and 2 TD, mostly in the second half. But Wisconsin also has a dominant defense and I think they’ll probably take the Big Ten this year. At least. I’d also love to jinx them.
#9 Oklahoma State beat Arizona 37-14.
Arizona didn’t have Juron Criner, but Nick Foles still threw for 398 yards. BUT, with an all-new offensive line, the running game couldn’t get going. On the other hand, Oklahoma State DID have Justin Blackmon. And Brandon Weeden, who threw for 397 yards. Blackmon had 128 yards and 2 TDs. Oh, and Joseph Randle ran for 121 yards and caught passes for 99. This offense is bonkers. Especially against what looked like a pretty solid defense in week one.
#10 Nebraska beat Fresno State 42-29.
Taylor Martinez is uneven because he’s kind of a shitty passer, but he can run like a goddamn maniac. He rushed for 166 yards and 2 touchdowns and passed for 219. But he fumbled twice, threw some bad passes and was intercepted twice. And Nebraska’s defense was weak. This was not an encouraging win.
#11 Virginia Tech beat East Carolina 17-10.
It seems like both teams have good defenses and offenses that… raise questions. Except for Virginia Tech’s David Wilson, who ran for 138 yards.
#12 South Carolina beat Georgia 45-42.
I’m not really sure what this means for either team. South Carolina has given up 79 points in their first two games. And yet, 3 of their touchdowns were defensive in the game. Marcus Lattimore still rushed for 176 yards. But Georgia isn’t quite dead yet. Isaiah Crowell is their new top guy. And this was a back-and-fourth game and Georgia’s schedule is relatively easy the rest of the year. They’re 0-2 but don’t stick a fork in them.
#13 Oregon beat Nevada 69-20.
This one was about bouncing back for Oregon. And Darron Thomas had 295 yards passing and 6 touchdowns before a backup came in. Still, I think his Heisman chances are over. I’d say LaMichael James’ are officially over, since he can’t seem to do shit anymore. And Kenjon Barner still isn’t playing. But the Ducks bounced back.
#14 Arkansas beat New Mexico 52-3.
Tyler Wilson passed for 259 yards and was on the bench in the second half. And the D looks good. We’ll see.
#15 Ohio State beat Toledo 27-22.
This year could be rough for Ohio State after all. Becacuse Toledo beat themselves in this one. OSU dropped to 17th in the AP polls. It’ll go lower.
#16 Mississippi State LOST to Auburn 41-34.
You’ll never believe it, but Auburn won ugly again. It’s 17th win in a row, mostly uglies. And speaking of ugly, Auburn’s bald eagle hit a luxury box windows during the pre game flight thing. How great is that? Anyway, Mike Dyer ran for 150 yards and 2 TDs.
#17 Michigan State beat Florida Atlantic 44-0.
Listen to this: FAU only had 48 yards of offense and one first down the whole game. That’s a dominant defense.
#18 Florida beatu UAB 39-0.
Chris Rainey is officially awesome. He ran for 119 yards and a TD this week. I’m just not sold on their red zone offense or their quarterback.
#19 West Virginia beat Norfolk State 55-12.
West Virginia was actually down at the half, but they came out and dominated the second. Geno Smith threw for 371 yards and 4 touchdowns. Their run game still has some problems, but they haven’t given up an offensive touchdown yet.
#21 Missouri LOST to Arizona State 37-30.
Brock Osweiler passed for 353 yards and 3 touchdowns and ran for another. Missouri’s James Franklin single handedly kept them in the game - 219 yards and two touchdowns passing, while running for 84 yards and another score. He’ll be just fine.
#22 South Florida beat Ball State 37-7.
Does anyone care yet? BJ Daniels threw for 359 yards. Darrell Scott had 82 yards rushing and hurdled a defender to score a touchdown. But does anyone care yet?
#24 Texas beat BYU 17-16.
Homer sports reporters want to tell you about Texas’ guts in their comeback. I’d like to tell you about a Texas team with no offense. The Defense is great, but the offense is going to need a lot of gritty, gutty comebacks if they continue to suck.
#25 TCU beat Air Force 35-19.
Bla Bla Bla, rebuilding. Bla bla. Ed Wesley was out. Casey Pachall had 206 yards and 2 touchdowns.
Okay. There you have some of the bullshit. I had a long day of travel. Take it or leave it.
